Outside it was freezing and snowing a storm.
My roomie's gone home. Now her bed is my bench.
It took me some time but I got out her stench.
All this time I have left, in the silence I'll pass,
Or I could if that Scott weren't a pain in the...well, you know.
With no studying done and exams on the way,
I ventured downtown where I shopped for the day.
Past stockings and wreaths, maple syrup on ice,
I tried not to think that my room might have mice.
Rach may not agree Christmas shopping's the worst,
But she's got to admit it's been hard on my purse.
I trudged through the Byward, made faces at hobos,
And paid way too much for those brand names with logos.
But at last I was done! With a boot full of snow,
I got on the bus and back home I did go,
And who should await me, right out by my door?
But that mundane old Scott, an extremely dull bore.
He grumbled and muttered. He moped and he sighed.
He groaned on and on about wishing he died.
His grades were too poor and his life really sucked.
It's safe to assume that Scott really was...doomed.
But why tell it to me? Was he quite unaware
That I'd mock all his worries? Make fun of his hair?
"So you're life is abysmal, I don't really care!"
I told him with relish to strap on a pair!
"This isn't a movie, not everything's great.
Get out of my room, I've enough on my plate.
I'm sick of your brooding, your whining, your moods.
So please leave me be! Drown your pain in some booze!"
That Scott, he just stared with his mouth in an "O."
And without one more word, down the hall he did go.
Before he returned to the depths of his room,
He turned to me, staring with eyes full of gloom.
"I'm not gonna lie, Ve. That really did hurt.
But I understand." And he stared at the dirt.
I sat at my desk to pretend not to hear it.
But darn it, I can't rid that holiday spirit.
No one's that heartless. I couldn't ignore.
With a sigh, I got up and I knocked at his door.
"What do you want?" he asked with his arms hanging limp.
Reluctant I managed, "Merry Christmas, you wimp."
In light of the holidays, I'm sure you're all very excited about the snow. What's not to like? All that lovely salt that gathers in a white ring around your boots. That wonderfully frozen snowbank at the end of your driveway. Everyone has frequent spasms when they walk on the slippery sidewalks while cars drive extra slowly and splash great gobs of grey slushy snow everywhere. It really is a winter wonderland.
If all that isn't enough to make you want to fling your arms in the air and praise God for snow, here's how you can use snow to your benefit. I overheard this ingenious suggestion while taking the OTrain yesterday.
Guy 1: Hey, you know what I just remembered?
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: We have a freezer now!
Guy 2: Oh yeah! Do you know what this means?
Guy 1: Dude!
Guy 1 and 2: TOASTER STRUDEL!
But wait. It gets better.
Guy 3: What? You guys have a freezer?
Guy 1: Well we have this snow bank right outside our window.
Guy 2: It's AWESOME!
I'm so glad we have post-secondary education to broaden our horizons and improve our minds.
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