Why Engineers Have No Friends

The Carleton Students Engineering Society had the nerdiest event a couple days ago. It's a charity LAN (That's right, I know what a LAN is now. It's a local area network, for those who are not in the know. I read up on my nerd vocab.) and they had a Magic: The Gathering booster draft. (I also know what a booster draft is now! My life has hit an all time low.)

It was basically a video game marathon with a card tournament on the side. All the people who signed up could play StarCraft or War Craft or Gang Garrison 2 or Borderlands (Every time I spew out these names, I surprise myself.) for 24 hours. And the best part is you don't have to feel guilty that you're wasting all your exam studying time playing dorky games with other dorks because IT'S ALL FOR CHARITY! And not just any charity, it's for the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario. I'm pretty sure you get extra brownie points for helping sick little kids.

Anyway, my editor mentioned this story and asked if I wanted to take it and I thought of all you guys who would love to sign up for such an altruistic event.

But back to the explanation of my title: Why Engineers Have No Friends.

I had the wonderful...privilege...of interviewing the nerd champions of the world (i.e. the organizers of the event). Let me just say that the Engineering Society is definitely not the place for me or anyone who can conduct themselves in a reasonable manner while participating in social activities.

And by social activities, I mean holding a conversation.

It was absolutely impossible to talk to these people! They contradict themselves and they talk in circles and they do not answer the question. Do not get me wrong, they are very excited about what they are talking about. I learned way more than I ever wanted to know about StarCraft and "planeswalkers" and exactly how you participate in a booster draft. I shudder at the thought.

How I suffer for my art! I ventured into the murky depths of the engineering world to bring you news! And I never ever want to do it again. I walked out of that Engineering office so quickly, you would have thought Wile. E. Coyote was behind me.

Here's a link to the story. http://www.charlatan.ca/drupal/sites/default/files/issues/pdf/39_17.pdf It's on page 6. Thank goodness it was only a short article because who knows what my mental state would be if I had to interview more engineers! The horror! THE HORROR!

And to those who are considering engineering: We can't be friends. It was nice knowing you.