Frost Bite Warning

I am slowly losing feeling in my fingers and toes, so I thought I'd share some thoughts with all of you before my extremities fall off. Today, in the lovely city of Ottawa, it was -21 degrees (-33 with the windchill) and everyone was urged by the Ottawa Citizen's Weather Watch to stay home and keep their core temperature at a reasonable level. Naturally, everyone went about their day as usual with an extra sweater for good measure.

In a moment of poor decision-making, I decided today would be a marvelous day to strike out into the great outdoors and make the harrowing journey to Loblaws. I was in dire need of cereal and milk, a healthy part of my complete daily breakfasts! So I bundled up with my coat and my snow boots and my woolly scarf and my monkey mittens and my monkey hat to show Mother Nature that she can't scare Veronica Tang into hiding.

Mother Nature is such a bitter old lady this time of year.

In the time it took me to put my change into the OTrain ticket machine, I thought my fingers were going to fall off. I could see myself holding quarters but I felt nothing! My legs were also beginning to feel like ski poles holding me up precariously. There was a tiny gap between the hood of my sweater and the bottom of my hat, leaving a sliver of my neck out in the cold to fend for itself. And to top it all off, I suddenly became very aware of my eyeballs freezing in their sockets.

I had a momentary flashback of watching To Build a Fire back in Gr. 7. At least that guy had a dog he could cut open and wear as fur coat. All I had were woolly monkeys!

I eventually made it back from Loblaws with all my fingers and toes (with the help of a much-needed stop at the Starbucks in Chapters). This is why we have tunnels here at Carleton. People just aren't meant to go outside in the winter. I now see tunnel rats in a different light. They are the smart ones with a good sense of self-preservation. So they're more susceptible to scurvy, you win some and you lose some.