"Oh dear God, this parachute's a backpack!"

In case you didn't get the title reference, it's Chandler Bing as he digs himself further and further into a hole. Case in point: I may be leading myself to an early grave.

It's supposed to be my lovely Fridays off from school, but there will be no actual weekend relaxation in the making today. I am trying to finish as much work as possible today because I have an epic day tomorrow! From 10:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. I will be Ireland!

Explanation: I joined the Model UN Society (MUN) last semester. If you can't figure out what it is from the title, then I'm afraid I can't help you, you lost cause. Fine, I'll be nice. New Years turning over a new leaf and all that jazz. Basically, everyone is assigned a country. There's a topic up for debate (i.e. this time, it's maritime piracy, which is really your Pirates of the Caribbean, Captain Hook, Somalians gone wild type of thing.) and everyone acts as a diplomat for their country and you try to reach a resolution by the end. It's actually a lot of fun.

Problem: We get to pick our countries and I knew absolutely nothing about maritime piracy so like a true scholarly researcher, I Googled it. Needless to say, it was all about Somalia (the only thing I did know about pirates). I scrolled around and picked three countries (they try to give you your top two choices) and I threw in Ireland as my last one. I figured it's an island so it must have something to do with pirates right? Wrong! It turns out Northern Ireland's the one with the pirates.

Summary: The UK stole my pirates! (I bet you never thought you'd ever see that sentence.)

Now I have nothing to argue about except the Irish Republican Army, basically Ireland's own private terrorist group. They blow up stuff trying to unite Northern Ireland with the Republic of Ireland. I kind of wish they'd hurry up with that so I could get my pirates back.

Additionally, I'm going kayaking tomorrow night! It's going to be great! And before you start picturing me kayaking through wind, snow, sleet, and a frozen Rideau Canal, let me clarify. It's kayaking in a pool. That's right. You laugh now but it's actually so much fun. They're really small kayaks so you can actually fit a lot of people in there. I'm not very good at it but I learned what to do if I tip over. Well, I learned what not to do. You don't just sit there, upside down in your kayak underwater and flail your arms and spew bubbles. It turns out no one can see you flailing when you're under a boat.

So that's my intense academic schedule for tomorrow, making today l'enfer vivant for me! That's "a living hell," about the only useful phrase I learned this year in French.

I've already wasted 22 minutes of my working time blabbing here (not that I regret it of course) so I'm going to start making my way to the guillotine now.