12.3.10

Why not swing by the LCBO?

One of my friends turned 19 on Monday and since no one likes to celebrate their birthday on a Monday, she held off until this weekend. We went to LCBO and bought a butt-load of liquor. Let's review:
  1. 4 cans of Heineken
  2. 1 bottle of Baileys
  3. 1 bottle of Smirnoff, apple-flavoured
  4. 1 mini bottle of Bacardi rum
  5. 1 giant bottle of Grenadine
  6. 1 giant bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy's peach schnapps (I wish my last name was McGillicuddy)
  7. 1 case of Vex (I forget what flavour, something pink)
Oh it's going to be a party. I think the LCBO at the Rideau Centre makes a lot of money. It's always crammed full of students. Location location location.

I'm not saying we're going to drink it all in one night. Please, we have to give those livers a chance to catch up. It's all about variety, my friends.

In the mean time, Kitty and I are having a horrible time trying to get pumped for tonight, despite the many bottles of alcohol cluttering up my already limited desk space. Our can-mate has a splitting headache. She's been sick for the past two weeks and is heavily drugged out on antibiotics. Unfortunately, our shrill voices and sudden bursts of laughter seem to be making her want to blow her head off just so she won't have to endure the pain.

So here we are, running against nature and being completely silent. It's been so long! I need to talk before my vocal cords shrivel away from lack of use. I'll be doomed to miming for the rest of my life. What a horrible idea. The thought of that outrageous costume and that black and white makeup. It's too much to bear!

Oh boy! Drugged-out can-mate is awake! We can speak again! I feel so alive!

P.S. I saw a giant cookie monster at the mall today and I want it! It's huge! I think it's about a foot shorter than Kitty when it's sitting down. It's mine! The store manager just doesn't know it yet.

P.P.S. I saw the Mad Hatter's hat for sale at the same store as the cookie monster and I want it! It's an exact replica of the one in the movie and if I had it, I would let my giant cookie monster wear it everyday (when I'm not wearing it and dancing like a fool of course).

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